With a title like that you can be sure this video
production is a far cry from LASSIE COME HOME.  It's an early effort by the talented Lucky McKee (of MAY and THE WOODS), a really stupid zombie gorefest that, if one is willing to shut one's brain down for eighty minutes, is actually kind of fun.

The Package

2002's excellent MAY is widely thought to be
writer/director Lucky McKee's "first" film, but ALL
CHEERLEADERS DIE, a decidedly less auspicious effort co-directed by Chris Sivertson (helmer of '06's THE LOST, which McKee produced), came first in 1999. Lensed in Skull County, CA, it's an extremely low rent shot-on-video feature of the type that tends to be
released (and quickly forgotten) by outfits like E.I.
and Sub Rosa.  I'm surprised neither studio bothered
snatching it up, as it's definitely above average in
the SOV arena--I actually managed to sit through the
whole thing, which I can't say for too many other such
movies.

The Story

Five lunkheaded high school football players embark
on a camping trip together with their cheerleader
girlfriends.  There's trouble from the start, however,
because the cheerleaders are claiming they have it
just as hard as the footballers.  Once at the camp
sight (and after a night of boozing and fucking), the
guys decide to put the girls through a bout of
football training, complete with a guys vs. gals
scrimmage.  The girls agree, but leave out the fact
that the night before one of them inducted the others
into a witches' coven that has granted them
supernatural powers.  These powers become apparent
over the course of the scrimmage, with the girls
beating the guys at their own game.  The disgraced
footballers become enraged and chase the cheerleaders
through the forest and over a cliff, where four of the
girls die--the fifth gets caught in a bear trap and
the guys take off, leaving her shouting that she'll
get even some day.

That day comes five years later.  The guys are all
dope-addled losers about to attend their five-year
high school reunion.  The "bear trap girl" has
survived her ordeal and returns to the graves of her
cheerleader companions.  She uses witchcraft to raise
them from the dead and embark on a rampage of revenge, mutilating and devouring the flesh of their
tormentors, and, for good measure, crashing the
reunion dance.

The Direction

When dealing with a movie called ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE, it's clear you're not viewing a Stanley Kubrick film.  Allowances will have to be made for the tacky video footage (it was evidently shot on somebody's camcorder, a far cry from the high quality digital stock available nowadays), uniformly crummy
performances (at least they're consistent) and
none-too-special effects (a particularly gory bit
takes place alongside a parked laundry truck, which
the actors, even those playing mindless zombies, are
all careful to keep from getting splattered).  If
you're willing to make those allowances, however, you
may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the
professional looking camerawork and well structured
narrative that moves seamlessly from leering sex
comedy to gross-out horror-fest (several years before
the debut of Eli Roth, who's made a career out of
doing just that).  In fact, if one were to transfer
ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE to film (and drop the tacky
synthesizer muzak), you'd likely end up with something
fairly impressive.

Vital Statistics

ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE
Directors/Screenplay/Cinematography/Editing: Lucky
McKee, Chris Sivertson
Producers: Lucky McKee, Chris Sivertson, Shelli
Merrill, Jeff Rimmer, Kevin Sparks
Cast: Julia Carpenter, Drama, Dirty Ernie, Jennifer
Grant, Chris Heinrich, Jesse Hlubik, Bonnie McKee,
Mike McKee, Quincy McKee, Shelli Merrill, Zach
Passero, Matthew Shebesta, Marni Sparks, Melinda
Sparks, Eric Van Bebber, Marlena Waid