Hereís a film so mind-numbing it's a veritable legend among bad movie buffs. The worldís first (and so far only) Christian anti-drug/gore/monster movie, BLOOD FREAK would embarrass Ed Wood. There was no budget to speak of, and the actors and crew would probably prefer that we didnít speak of them either. In short, BLOOD FREAK is a must-see!
Any movie this ridiculous, amateurish, and just plain
awful is well worth viewing. Itís the only movie I know that
combines a Christian anti-drug message with a staggeringly inept
monster movie script. BLOOD FREAK was lensed in 1972
backwoods Florida using an inbred cast and a
not-ready-for-film-school crew. Armed with a five-dollar budget,
these folks produce more laughs than youíll find in the most
expensive tinseltown comedy.
Herschell, a young Elvis-wannabe, meets Angel, an
equally young Christian woman, along with her out-of-control
sister, Ann. Ignoring Angelís endless scripture-quotes and
warnings about Annís wild ways, Herschell allows Ann and her
good-for-nothing, pot smoking friends to turn him into a drug
addict. After smoking some sort of super-pot, Herschell
unknowingly imbibes experimental preservatives and transforms
into a psychotic turkey monster. He then flaps around the
countryside, killing and drinking the blood of drug-addicted
teens until, with the help of Angel, he is saved through his
faith in the Lord. And no, Iím not making any of this up.
The whole brain-damaged tale is narrated by an elderly
professorial type who frequently pops in to lecture us about the
nature of faith. In one scene, he lights a cigarette while
pontificating on the evils of drug abuse and then breaks into a
coughing fit! This appears to be the only bit of intentional
humor in the film, suggesting that the proceedings might all be
a cinematic put-on.
It took two directors to concoct this unholy mess,
Steve Hawkes (also the star) and Brad Grinter (who also made
also made DEVIL RIDER, a Christian biker movie). Their
accomplishments are indeed impressive: the images are usually in
focus, somebody almost always remembers to remove the lens cap
before shooting, and I spotted no boom microphones dropping into
frames. It must be some sort of honor for a real-life amputee to
portray a character with his leg cut off, and still
manage to make the effect look fake.
Drug abuse, teenage sex, gore, chicken monsters,
Christianity...don't say you didn't get your money's worth!
Hawkes, Brad Grinter
Cinematography: Ron Sill
Editor: Gil Ward
Cast: Steve Hawkes, Dana Cullivan, Heather Hughes, Tera Anderson, Larry Wright, Randy Grinter, Jr., Jane Farber, Bon Currier, Lee Morris