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ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE
With a title like that you can be sure this video production is a far cry from LASSIE COME HOME. It’s an early effort by the talented Lucky McKee (of MAY and THE WOODS), a really stupid zombie gorefest that, if one is willing to shut one’s brain down for eighty minutes, is actually kind of fun.
The Package
2002’s excellent MAY is widely thought to be writer/director Lucky McKee’s
“first” film, but ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE, a decidedly less auspicious effort
co-directed by Chris Sivertson (helmer of ‘06’s
THE LOST, which McKee produced),
came first in 1999. Lensed in Skull County, CA, it’s an extremely low rent
shot-on-video feature of the type that tends to be released (and quickly
forgotten) by outfits like E.I. and Sub Rosa. I’m surprised neither studio
bothered snatching it up, as it’s definitely above average in the SOV arena--I
actually managed to sit through the whole thing, which I can’t say for too many
other such movies.
The Story
Five lunkheaded high school football players embark on a camping trip
together with their cheerleader girlfriends. There’s trouble from the start,
however, because the cheerleaders are claiming they have it just as hard as the
footballers. Once at the camp sight (and after a night of boozing and fucking),
the guys decide to put the girls through a bout of football training, complete
with a guys vs. gals scrimmage. The girls agree, but leave out the fact that
the night before one of them inducted the others into a witches’ coven that has
granted them supernatural powers. These powers become apparent over the course
of the scrimmage, with the girls beating the guys at their own game. The
disgraced footballers become enraged and chase the cheerleaders through the
forest and over a cliff, where four of the girls die--the fifth gets caught in a
bear trap and the guys take off, leaving her shouting that she’ll get even some
day.
That day comes five years later. The guys are all dope-addled losers about
to attend their five-year high school reunion. The “bear trap girl” has
survived her ordeal and returns to the graves of her cheerleader companions.
She uses witchcraft to raise them from the dead and embark on a rampage of
revenge, mutilating and devouring the flesh of their tormentors, and, for good
measure, crashing the reunion dance.
The Direction
When dealing with a movie called ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE, it’s clear you’re
not viewing a Stanley Kubrick film. Allowances will have to be made for the
tacky video footage (it was evidently shot on somebody’s camcorder, a far cry
from the high quality digital stock available nowadays), uniformly crummy
performances (at least they’re consistent) and none-too-special effects (a
particularly gory bit takes place alongside a parked laundry truck, which the
actors, even those playing mindless zombies, are all careful to keep from
getting splattered). If you’re willing to make those allowances, however, you
may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the professional looking camerawork
and well structured narrative that moves seamlessly from leering sex comedy to
gross-out horror-fest (several years before the debut of Eli Roth, who’s made a
career out of doing just that). In fact, if one were to transfer ALL
CHEERLEADERS DIE to film (and drop the tacky synthesizer muzak), you’d likely
end up with something fairly impressive.
Vital Statistics
ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE
Directors/Screenplay/Cinematography/Editing: Lucky McKee, Chris Sivertson
Producers: Lucky McKee, Chris Sivertson, Shelli Merrill, Jeff Rimmer, Kevin
Sparks
Cast: Julia Carpenter, Drama, Dirty Ernie, Jennifer Grant, Chris Heinrich, Jesse
Hlubik, Bonnie McKee, Mike McKee, Quincy McKee, Shelli Merrill, Zach Passero,
Matthew Shebesta, Marni Sparks, Melinda Sparks, Eric Van Bebber, Marlena Waid