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PIECEMEAL JUNE
By JORDAN KRALL (Eraserhead Press; 2008)

Jordan Krall is a signature author of the Bizarro fiction movement, and this book is a typical example of Bizarro lit, reveling as it does in easily digestible black humored weirdness. Itís also, likewise in common with most of this stuff, extremely short and terminally lightweight. Its biggest sin, however, is that the novel is simply not that weird, as despite a plethora of odd details the story arc is straight out of Hollywood: a nerd meets a beautiful woman (albeit in a wholly bizarre manner), falls in love and vanquishes the assholes pursuing her to ensure a wholly unlikely but obligatory happy ending.

     Said nerd is Kevin, a no-hoper who lives over a porno shop and works as a teacherís assistant. One day Kevinís cat delivers a synthetic but quite lifelike womanís ankle that actually sweats--and then Kevin finds a feces-coated eyeball in his crapper. This is followed by a hand, a foot and so forth until the cat drags in a womanís synthetic head. Kevin now has a sex doll he superglues together that when fully assembled calls itself June.

     Trouble starts when Max Alexander, a sleazebag who works in the porn shop under Kevinís apartment, discovers that one of his prized robotic sex dolls is missing. It seems that Kevinís cat has been stripping the doll piece by piece from its box, and bringing the pieces to Kevin. Max is pissed, having plucked Juneís essence from an alternate dimension ruled by Simon, the God of Whores, who lords over the mythical city of Om-Am (or something), and then fashioned her into the likeness of the retired porn star June St. Clair. The latter, by the way, is still around, and fed up with being jerked around by her porn impresario husband.

     What follows is some gratuitous grossness--one of Maxís goons has an attack of diarrhea, the real June St. Clair snaps and murders her hubbie and herself--before Kevin and June declare their undying love for one another, just in time for a final showdown with Max, Simon and a bunch of crab monsters from Om-Am. I wouldnít dream of revealing who wins. 

     

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